Honking, hyderabadi ishhtyle.

When have you been last irked on the road by a nonchalant honker? Well, a hyderabadi would have a memory that would not extend beyond today or else I would say he/she is patience personified. They dwell in every nook and cranny of the streets of hyderabad and exist in all forms - behind the wheel, on a bike, not to mention, in the good ol' yellow-black boxes of nuisance on three wheels - the autorichshaws. They have the ability to get on to your nerves fast, they can extract expletives from you in no time. They'll make you make way at any cost and then pass by you with such a contempt that you'll give a second thought to your driving skills. There is quiet a variety of honkers existing on hyd roads. I have discovered a few species of this deadly creature. Wouldn't mind the Noble prize for zoology (I know it doesn't exist) for this feat.

The impatient honker is the most irritating of the lot. He'll (I'll use the masculine pronoun to avoid the wrath of the feminist honker) honk till eternity or till you get out of his way. It can never occur to him that there could be a genuine reason why you can't make way for his grand passage. He would make you believe that you could be killed if the horn weapon was just a tad more lethal. While honking, expecting your quick action to his call, he'll look at you with such disdain as if the suggestion is - you don't have the right to exist on the street. To your relief, you get the oppurtunity to let this juggernaut pass - believe me, you are the one who's victorious - after all peace of mind is invaluable.

The next most abundant is the proactive honker. He honks not because he wants somebody out of his way, but because nobody should come into his way. He is a V.I.P. in his own sense. He'll extend the capabilities of the horn way beyond its purpose - He'll treat it as a siren to ward off the commoners. His last wish would be to employ the city police to stall the traffic when he's on the road. You dare not come into his way, else he would quickly change color to resemble his close cousin - the impatient honker. He's most of the time, young and seated on a bike, which is though most of the times a 150cc or even lesser powered bike, but gives him an illusion of a honda CBRR - 1200 cc or a suzuki hayabusa 1300 cc special edition.

The last, but not the least is the habitual honker. He'll honk with a set frequency, without a purpose. You can even write a mathematical expression which denotes the time frequency of his honking and can accurately predict the exact time he'll honk next. He's the most dull witted of the lot, doesn't even realize what he's really doing. The honking habit has just grown into him along with his driving skills. You can think of him as a cross breed of a jack-ass and one of the variety above. He's a cabbie most of the times, pays more attention to the crooner at the radio station thats playing his favourite song. Needless to say, he's quiet dangerous - not so much for his honking habit, but purely because of his absent mindedness. Maintain a safe distance from this variety, because you never know which turn that he'll take to make you land in trouble.

I have these three species identified during this short time I have been in hyderabad. I know there are a few others that exist, though not in as large a number as the cousins above. I would be elated to figure out a few more and would appreciate any external help or pointers.